


Breaking the Rules

by undergrounddaydreams



Series: 100 Themes Challenge [12]
Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:54:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2360264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undergrounddaydreams/pseuds/undergrounddaydreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Goblin King crashes a game of Calvinball</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking the Rules

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth. I just like to play there. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made. For entertainment purposes and love of the source.
> 
> ~o0O0o~
> 
> This is just a silly bit of fluff. I wrote it fairly quickly just to keep writing things. Some of the 100 Themes stories got a lot more TLC than they probably should have and took much too long to write to be buried in a random series. This is not one of those. :)
> 
> As usual, I'm dropping you in the middle of a shared history (the details of which I have not been made privy to and so neither have you) and a set of assumptions that are not necessarily the same set of assumptions I've used for any of these other stories. What should be obvious is that there is a definite shared history beyond the Labyrinth, and Sarah is particularly pissy with the GK—I have no idea what he's done to deserve it, but he probably does. Enjoy!

"Must I?" Sir Didymus asked as he stood on a rock looking forlornly out at the masked faces staring back at him. Sarah was to his left, her hand on a tree, Toby commanded the middle of the yard directly across from him, Ludo had Hoggle tucked under his arm to his right, and interspersed among them was a smattering of goblins.

Toby put a hand on his hip. "That's the Pernicious Poem Place. It's the rules."

Sir Didymus looked imploringly at Sarah, who only shrugged in response.

"Very well, then," he said with as much dignity as he could muster as he adjusted the elephant mask that kept slipping up his snout. He tugged at the ends of his delicately embroidered vest, cleared his throat, and began. "This is a poem! Please do what you're told! And here is a bucket of water, ice-cold! Please take this water, and dump it on me! Don't hesitate, do it ASAP!"

This determined, if not heartfelt, rendition was met with silence.

Toby scratched his head, his lion mask bobbing along with the movement. "We forgot the water."

"You could always use the hose," Sarah said.

"Mom said I wasn't allowed to play with the hose anymore." Toby looked around, his gaze landing on Bug, a bushy-haired, squat goblin. "Any ideas?"

Bug bobbed his head as if to say, "Perhaps I might have a little something that would do." He waddled over to the rock, reared his head back, and spit the largest glob of saliva any of them had ever had the misfortune of seeing this side of the Underground.

Toby collapsed in peals of laughter as Sir Didymus spluttered in shock, spraying goblin spit everywhere.

Sarah recoiled. "Oh my goblins, that's disgusting!" She raised her hand. "New rule! No spitting!"

"Aww, Sarah. . ." Toby whined.

"Too late. It's already a rule," Sarah said as she walked toward Sir Didymus, still seemingly anchored on top of the rock by a puddle of goblin goo.

Toby shrugged, gripping the ball. "What's the score?"

Hoggle had managed to wriggle free of Ludo's grasp in the commotion. "Frogs to toads," he grumbled, kicking Ludo in the shin.

Toby took off running, a hoard of goblins chasing after him. Sarah quickly assessed her soggy friend and sighed. "I think we're going to have to use the hose, after all. Come on."

The game continued without them as Sarah hosed the little fox clean. Just as she turned off the spigot, Karen and her dad walked out the back door.

Karen paused, stopping her husband with a hand on his arm. "Isn't he darling? Still playing with his imaginary friends."

Sarah's dad sighed. "I wish he had some real ones. Maybe we should sign him up for baseball."

Karen waved a hand at him. "He's fine. He'll make friends when he's ready. And you told me Sarah was just the same, and she turned out wonderfully. She's so great with Toby."

Sarah smiled to herself. "I'm right here, you know."

Karen visibly startled. "Oh! Sarah, I didn't see you there. Listen, we're off to the garden center, and we'll be back in an hour or two. You're okay keeping an eye on Toby?"

Sarah wiped her wet hands on her jeans, pretending not to notice as Sir Didymus tipped his hat at her dad and stepmom before trotting off to join the game. "Yep, we're good."

Karen called out as they headed to the car. "Toby! Listen to your sister! We'll be back in a bit!"

Without pausing, Toby called back. "Okay. Bye, mom!"

Sarah watched them drive away. As soon as Toby was within grabbing distance, she snatched the ball, ran up the porch steps, across the deck, and down the stairs on the other side.

A small goblin who had been watching from the flower bed yelled, "Backwards! Backwards!"

Sarah turned around midrun, just as her foot touched the grass. "Thanks, Nibber, I almost forgot!" She continued to run backwards, looking for Ludo to pass the ball, laughing as Toby gained on her. When she crossed the row of rosebushes, she turned around and shrieked.

Directly in her path was a very smug and very amused Goblin King.

Sarah clutched the ball to her chest, staggering backwards a few steps as she caught her breath. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"There seemed to be a game afoot. And since I'm awfully fond of games"—he looked at her from underneath his lashes—"I just assumed my invitation had been misplaced."

Sarah narrowed her eyes from behind her mouse mask. "It wasn't."

Toby came up to stand beside her. "Hi, Jareth!"

Jareth smiled down at the small boy. "Toby."

"Want to play?"

"He can't," Sarah snapped.

"Why not?" Toby asked.

"Because. . . because. . ." Sarah struggled to find a valid reason. When Jareth raised an arrogant eyebrow, she found it. "Because he doesn't have a mask."

Jareth raised his other eyebrow in response. "Is that all?" With a flick of his wrist, a red, glittering, cat-like mask, complete with whiskers and pointy ears, obscured the top half of his face. "Will this do?"

Toby jumped up and down. "That's perfect! Get it, Sarah? Purrrrrfect." He laughed.

Sarah ignored Toby as she pushed her mask up to rest on her forehead. "I'll tell you exactly what you can do, you—"

Jareth cut her off with a clap of his hands, turning his gaze to the boy still jumping between them. "So, what are we playing?"

Toby stopped bouncing and grinned. "Calvinball."

"And how does one play Calvinball?"

As Toby began to point out all the zones currently in play in the backyard, Sarah wandered off to lean against a tree and glare.

When Toby had finished, Jareth asked, "And what is the objective?"

"To capture the flag."

"And where is that?"

Toby's face scrunched as he looked around. "Not sure. It's around here somewhere." He looked back at Jareth, the whereabouts of the flag forgotten. "You can be on my team."

Sarah spoke up, crossing her arms over her chest. "There are rules to this game."

Jareth looked at her over Toby's head, a wicked smile spreading across his lips. "And those are?"

"We just make them up as we go along," Toby said. "You have to wear a mask. That's always a rule. And, uh. . . if you knock someone over, you have to sing the 'I'm Sorry' song. And, if you drop the ball, you have to twirl until you get the ball again, unless you're in the backwards zone, and then you have to moonwalk."

"And no spitting," Sir Didymus added pointedly.

"No spitting," Toby repeated.

Jareth nodded sagely. "All very reasonable. And who makes the rules?"

"Anybody can make up any rule they want to any time. Unless they're in the No Rule Making Zone." Toby pointed to the driveway. "It's over there."

"Sounds simple enough." He glanced over at Sarah, smiling in that way that always meant trouble. "Shall we?"

Sarah walked up to Jareth, stopping directly in front of him. "If you really insist on doing this, just stay the hell out of my way."

His smile ratcheted up a notch. "I'll try my best, precious, but I can't let my team down, now, can I?" He leaned closer. "By the way, you're delightfully captivating when you're angry."

"You're an ass all of the time." Sarah tossed the ball to Ludo, who was hovering to her left, and pointed a finger at Jareth. "Stay away from me."

For the most part, Sarah managed to stay clear of Jareth as the game resumed. She was relieved that she didn't have to enforce her tough talk, because that's all it was, talk. The lingering glow of her victory in their first encounter had faded swiftly, as soon as she realized that the "You have no power over me" thing swung both ways. There was very little she could make him do, him being a magical king, and her being, well, her.

Jareth, for his part, managed to slide easily into the game, playing by the rules, though only if you squinted. Anything that might result in him getting dirty or looking foolish was delegated to one of his many minions, and not necessarily those on his team. He strolled regally here and there, issuing commands, not a hair out of place or a smudge of dirt marring his immaculate person. He seemed to be genuinely interested in the game.

 _So much for being captivating_ , Sarah thought when he'd sauntered right past her without sparing her a so much as a glance.

And for fate's part, it made sure Sarah's temporary invisibility eventually wore off.

Sarah had the ball, Bug a little too close to spitting distance for comfort. She slipped between two huge magnolia trees to the space behind her dad's shed, thinking she could escape around the other side. What she found instead was an overgrown hedge creeping over from the neighbor's yard, a huge spider web trailing from the corner of the roof to tangle in its branches. Sarah made a mental note to buy her dad some hedge clippers for his birthday as she turned to go back out the way she came.

Blocking her way, yet again, was the Goblin King.

Sarah debated for about six and a half seconds whether she'd be better off taking her chances with the spider, and ultimately settled on "her kingdom is as great."

"Get out of my way, Jareth," she said, tucking the ball between her arm and her hip as she planted her feet firmly in front of him with a toss of her hair.

His expression of snug amusement deepened. "I don't think that's in the best interest of my team."

"Because you're all about being a team player? Get out of my way."

He tilted his head slightly, giving her a lazy once-over. "Perhaps if you asked nicely I might consider your request. For a price."

"And here I thought I was already paying a very generous price by enduring your company. I'm done with this."

Sarah shoved forcefully past him. She didn't get far before she heard a tsking sound behind her.

"Oh, dear. I do believe I'm going to have to call foul. Toby, are there any penalties for unnecessary roughness?"

Across the yard, Toby stopped running to answer. "I don't think so."

Sarah stopped, too.

"Well then," Jareth said, "new rule."

Sarah turned around.

"When a player acts in an unnecessarily rough manner that causes harm or injury to another player, that player must pay reparations to the player thus injured." Jareth made a show of cradling his "injured" arm. "I think a kiss should suffice."

Sarah narrowed her eyes. "Unnecessary roughness? You've got to be kidding me."

"Isn't that the way it's done: kiss and make up and all will be better?" He touched two gloved fingers to his lips. "Just here, I think."

"You want a kiss, Jareth?" Sarah marched toward him. "I'll give you something right in the kisser." She lifted the ball to chest level and threw it as hard as she could.

_Thawnk._

The ball bounced off Jareth's face and rolled away. Nibber scampered up to it, plopping on top and rolling back and forth on his belly as he giggled.

Jareth scowled, his "injured" arm forgotten. "Was that really necessary?"

"You made it necessary with your stupid rule," she said. "New rule: Any player that asks or has ever asked for any kind of kissing to take place in this game ever and forever is immediately banned."

"That's hardly fair."

"This is my turf and my rules. I've got mad Calvinball skills. Don't mess with me."

"Uh, Sarah. . .," Toby said. "You're in the opposite zone."

Sarah glanced over at her brother, confusion wrinkling her forehead. "What?"

"You're standing in the opposite zone. You didn't declare that rule oppositely, so it doesn't count."

"But. . ." Sarah looked down at her feet, just over the barrier. She stepped back. "Wait, let me say that again—"

"Too late," Toby said. "No redoes."

"But, Toby—"

"That's the rules. Besides, I like it when Jareth plays. You guys are funny together." He grinned before running off to wrestle the ball from the little giggling goblin.

As the game resumed around them, Sarah suddenly felt very alone with a wily, unpredictable, powerful magical being, all his focus fixed on her. With the ridiculousness of the goblins and Toby and her friends, it was often too easy to forget who he really was and what he was capable of. But he had his ways of reminding her, and it was in these times, with the fluttering low in her stomach, and the rush of blood so loud that her heartbeat thudded in her ears, that she remembered that while she treated him like an annoyance, he was so much more than that, and that made him all the more dangerous.

Jareth stalked slowly toward her. "Now that the rules have been sufficiently established, that leaves us with the little matter of reparations to be paid."

Sarah matched each of his steps in wary retreat. "Wait…" She swallowed, her mouth having gone curiously dry. "You weren't really serious about that, were you?"

"Oh, quite serious." His eyes flicked away to her right and back again, just the slightest of movements, but enough to rouse her suspicions. She glanced over and promptly stumbled backwards over a goblin. Strong arms wrapped around her as she tumbled to the ground, landing, not unpleasantly, on a warm, firm body before being rolled onto her back, that same body on top of hers. She stared up into blue-brown eyes, his hair falling in a curtain around her face as she dimly registered the discordant tones of the "I'm Sorry" song somewhere off to her right.

Jareth brushed aside the hair that had tangled in the whiskers of her mask. "How fortuitous that I was here to catch your fall."

Sarah stared up at him with wide-eyed bewilderment, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. "You're a regular Prince Charming."

"I try."

She licked her lips, holding as still as possible, much too aware of his body pressed along hers. "I'm pretty sure you did that on purpose."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. Goblins do have a troublesome habit of getting underfoot." He shrugged. "Whatever the cause, I can't help but notice that the result has quite happily eased the payment of your debt. You might even say…fate has granted you a gift."

"What gift?"

Jareth leaned forward, his breath a whispered promise across her lips. "Proximity."

Sarah's eyes grew wider as she tucked her chin, pressing her head back against the unrelenting ground. "What are you doing?"

He reclaimed the meager distance she'd just won. "I'm going to kiss you."

She felt panic rising, words tumbling out in the tide. "Why would you do that?"

She felt rather than saw his smile. "Well, that didn't sound like a 'no'."

Before she could begin to process what was happening, Jareth's lips brushed softly against hers. She stiffened in response, and when his lips passed over hers again, all the thousands of knots that held her rigid unraveled at once. She felt boneless, melting into the ground, no thoughts, only feeling, and he followed her there, placing his lips with the lightest of touches fully against her own. The moment seemed to drift, unfixed in time, infinity and the barest trace of a millisecond all at once. And in the next moment, a slight increase in pressure, an invitation, and she accepted, lifting her chin, taking the kiss he offered and asking for more.

Her eyes fluttered open as he pulled away. He looked strangely innocent with his eyes still closed, his hair a sun-dappled halo around his head. The thought was swiftly banished as his gaze fixed on hers, the devil inside shining triumphantly through.

"Who knew it could be so advantageous to play by the rules?" He shifted over her slightly, the hand not supporting his weight sliding to her waist. "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling much better."

Before she do anything more than arch ineffectually away from his roaming hand, the sound of running feet coming to a quick stop before barreling into their heads made them both pause and look up.

Toby stood over them with a small pout. "Are you guys still playing?"

Jareth offered him a gracious smile. "We'll be along shortly. We have some unfinished business yet to settle."

Sarah whipped her head back to look up at Jareth. "What unfinished business?"

Toby's pout morphed into begrudging acceptance. "Okay. Well, hurry up. We have to start over because Ludo ate the flag."

As Toby took off, Jareth refocused his attention on the woman glaring up at him. "I believe I'm owed one more kiss."

"For what?"

"I vaguely recall a large rubber ball being thrown at my face."

"Only vaguely? I must not have thrown it hard enough."

Jareth tsked and shook his head slowly. Sarah felt the receding flood of panic from moments before begin to bubble up into rage.

"Such a temper. Not very sportsmanlike behavior, is it? You know, Sarah," he leaned forward, his face close to hers, "if you wanted my attention, you had only to ask. You'll find I respond quite readily to a little tenderness."

"Tenderness? I can't believe you just said that to me. The great and terrible Goblin King telling me I should try a little tenderness? Like sending the cleaners after me was a show of tenderness? Or how about nearly dumping me in the bog? Or, better yet, dispatching a giant axe-wielding robot and his large spikey sidekicks? All very sportsmanlike behavior."

"Hmm. Point taken, my little mouse." He touched a gloved finger to the plastic nose covering hers. "Well, now that we have each other's attention, let's dispense with the games, shall we?" He leaned in further, lowering his voice to nearly a whisper. "All that's left is to kiss and make up."

Sarah shoved her hand between them, pressing her fingers against his lips to stop his advance. "How can you even begin to compare throwing a ball in someone's face to sending sharp shreddy things after them?"

He pulled back slightly, only to kiss the base of her fingers. She snatched her hand away, and he captured it, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Also a valid point. In the spirit of fairness, I grant you my solemn oath to give you as many kisses as you require to feel satisfied that reparations have been made, with the full understanding that it's quite a heavy debt I carry, one that will undoubtedly require significant time and attention to repay."

The tide of panic reached a high point, this time carrying with it an unsettling mix of apprehension and anticipation. "What do you mean 'kisses'? I didn't ask for any kisses—"

"No? But if that's the way things are done, then that's the way we must do it. And, curious thing—" his free hand reached up to cradle her face, titling it up toward him"—none of that sounded like a 'no',' either."

From somewhere in the yard, Toby called out, "What's the score?"

Jareth smiled against her lips. "Love to zero."

**Author's Note:**

> I did tell you it was a silly bit of fluff. Now, some may call me out for not applying the theme as I should, but Jareth assured me that if I let him play by the rules just this once, I would be breaking the rules of the theme, and so it would still be applicable. Feel free to take it up with him.
> 
> And for any of you unfamiliar with Calvinball, I feel so sad for you.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please, leave a contribution in the little box. ;)


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